When I am at work, sometimes I get irritated with the people that call there. It all ranges from people that don't know what they want, people that say crazy things, and people that don't have any clue how to speak english, even though english is their native tongue.
I am surrounded by people that say," where are you at?" and other things that make my skin crawl. Double negatives and poor grammar are everywhere and I am not saying that I am perfect, but come on!
Recently, I have noticed a new word that has been created by the masses. I just want to scream every time I hear it. I don't even know how to spell it, because it isn't even a word. "You-guys-ses or Your-guys-ses" is how it sounds. I suppose it is being used instead of saying "yours", I just hate it. People that work in this clinic say it, people that work at Stanford say it. It is all around me and it is so tempting to correct them, but I am afraid I will get in trouble if I do.
Speaking of getting in trouble, I just had a caller tell me that I am rude. Funny thing is, I wasn't being rude. I answered and the caller asked me if I was Lizette. "No, this is the operator, who are you trying to reach?", I said. "I'm just trying to reach the front desk", she said. I was writing something as I was talking, so I hadn't looked at the screen to see where the call had come from. As far as I was concerned it was a patient calling in. As I was clicking on the directory screen, the girl on the line said to someone on her end,"she is rude!" Then I noticed that the call was from inside the clinic. I said,"I was not being rude, I was asking you who you were trying to reach." "No", she says, "you are rude, what is your name?" I hate this exchange, It is always so tempting to say another name or to really show them what rude is. "My name is Peggy", I said. Then she tells me again that I am rude and that she can dial what she needs herself. "Fine", I said. Oops, I guess that was rude.
I had am amusing call the other day. A father called in and said that his child had just eaten kitty litter. GAHHHH! He said the name of his child's Dr. and I rang the office. YUCK...kitty litter?!? Do you watch your child at all? What would possess a child or anyone for that matter, to put their hand in "there", pull out some "litter" and eat it? You know the odds of that litter box being brand new, and the litter clean as a whistle, are slim to none. Litter expands and clumps when it gets wet, UGH, the whole thing is just gross.
I know you can't watch your child every second. When Emily was small, I don't think she could even talk, she stuck TIC TACS up her nose. I remember she was crying and I was trying to figure out what was wrong. I knelt on the floor to ask her what was the matter, and every time she exhaled, I could smell mint. Strange I thought. What did she do, eat the tube of toothpaste? Tears were streaming down her face and I couldn't see what the problem was. Suddenly she coughed and little white things shot out of her mouth. I asked her where did she put these things and she pointed to her nose.
Elizabeth never stuck anything up her nose. She cut her hair one time though. She was about kindergarten age, and I was cleaning up her coloring books and things one day. As I was gathering the assorted stuff, I saw a paper towel or kleenex neatly laying on the floor. I lifted it up and there was a big bunch of pretty blond hair. I called Elizabeth's name and didn't know what to expect when she walked in the room. It was a lot of hair, I hoped that she hadn't chopped it from the top of her head or something. She walked up to me, and I could see where she had cut it. It was right where her bangs stopped and her hair was long. "What happened to your hair?", I asked her. "It was in the way, so I cut it off", she said. I still have that clump of hair in a ziploc bag.
My sister Judy bought Elizabeth a beautiful doll when she was about 5. It was like a fancy rag doll with a cloth face and body. She had button eyes and yellow yarn for her hair. Her dress was white eyelet. One day I noticed the dolls legs kind of sticking out from under a mound of Elizabeth's toys. As I was putting the toys away, I could see that the doll's head was in a brown paper bag, like a lunch bag. I took the bag off the doll's head, and the doll had make up all over her face. Oh Crap, I thought, this doll was expensive I'm sure, and she had lipstick and who knows what all over her face. It wasn't just randomly on her face though. It looked like Elizabeth was trying to put make up on the doll. When I asked Elizabeth about the doll, her first response was, don't tell Judy. She put the make up on and thought she could take it off. We didn't tell Judy about that for a long time. We still have the doll.
The 23rd was my Mom's birthday, the 22nd was Kevin's, the 17th was Jim B's, uncle Abe's was the 13th, cousin Rick's was the 3rd, Ben's was the 15th, cousin John's was Aug 4th, cousin Morganna's was the 16th, my Grandma King's was Aug. 17 and she would have been 111!
In other words, birthday season has begun in our family. I am not in the mood at all this year. Robert's death has changed everything, and I just don't see any point in birthdays anymore. I am still upset, still crying about Robert. It's not a steady stream of tears, but it is a feeling that is always there. I think about all that happened and I have to remind myself that it is real and then the tears start. It is like a gnawing feeling, or a rush of reality that sweeps over me. It is strange and I hate it. I look at his pictures on my computer and I can't believe it. Ever since all this happened, I have had a lump on the lower left side of my head. When my Dad died in 1980, I had the same thing and I was told by a Dr. that it was from stress. Lymph nodes that had gone crazy due to grief. This current lump has been getting bigger and my scalp has been all broken out too. I decided to go to the Dr. the other day, to see what was going on with my head. I started to wonder if maybe I had some kind of infection or maybe something worse. I don't remember my head hurting like this when my Dad died. The Dr. felt my head and when she got to the spot where the big lump was she said, "Wow, that IS a big lump!" Yeah , I know!!! She knew about Robert already because she is my Mom's Dr. too and we called about Mom's blood pressure the day we found out about Robert. I started to tell the Dr. that I thought this was all do to grief over Robert, and I started to cry. "See", I told her, "look at me, I can cry at the drop of a hat!" She gave me some amoxicillin because she thought that maybe there was an infection going on. She told me that grief is hard on a persons body and the way that Robert died was so horrible that it is hard for us to cope. It is such a shock. So I have been trying to not cry so much to see if my head bump will recede and not explode.
I can't not cry, I just can't. I look at Robert's Legacy book online everyday. On the 23rd Kathleen wrote in it and what she wrote made me sob. I just don't know how Jim and Kathleen can go on day to day. I am heartbroken, crying, filled with grief and I am Robert's aunt, not his mother, his sister or his father. I can not imagine how horrible it is for them.
Emily has gone back to school, Elizabeth went to Canada, people are having birthdays. Life keeps going on.
Judy and Jim had a BBQ at their house on the 19th. My first thought was of Robert. Robert won't be there, even if he had nothing else to do, he won't be there.
I gave Jim the stuff I got from the Giants for him, it made him cry when he saw the Giants hat. Robert had one like it. The BBQ was nice, it was good to see everyone and the food was great.
I just miss Robert. |
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