San Jose Mercury Photo
I arrived at Jack's house at 1:15pm today. Jack lives about four blocks from the courthouse in San Jose so we walked. The closer we got to the courthouse, the more smarmy the surroundings became. Bail bondsmen handing out their cards, coked out looking freaks everywhere. Criminals as far as the eye could see.
Jim and Kathleen arrived just as we did. We went in together and took the elevator down to the courtroom. When we walked into the courtroom it was fairly crowded. Public defenders, lawyers and a bunch of very guilty looking people. Some of the guilty were sitting among us waiting for their names to be called. That was creepy. The more serious offenders were led into where the jury usually would sit. You could hear them before you saw them. Their shackled legs jingling with every foot step. Every one of them looked guilty as hell. One man's bail was set at one million dollars. He had been threatening witnesses in his case.
Good Lord people, don't ever break the law because the people waiting on the other side of the law are frightening!
We were told to be there at 2:00pm. We watched fifty some people get sentenced, but our case never seemed to be called. At around 4:00pm finally the judge said something concerning the Mayfield case.
The whole time we were waiting, none of us saw Mayfield anywhere. His high priced lawyer was there, but no Mayfield. All I could think was they are probably going to ask for another continuance for some unknown reason. Then the judge left and came back about 15 minutes later. The Bailiff shouted, "All rise. court is now in session." Then Mayfield was brought into court. I guess they had him stored somewhere to protect him from us. The last court date, things got ugly when Mayfield's sister walked up to my niece Christine and said," It was just an accident you know." That did it, all kinds of people on our side started yelling at her, Christine was wailing and crying and the Bailiffs had to escort people from the building to their cars.
We were asked who wanted to address Mr. Mayfield. I wrote my name on the paper and proceeded to listen to my heart pumping so hard I thought it was hitting my ribs. Jack said he would go up with me, I told him I would be ok.
Jim was called first. Kathleen went with him. Jim started to talk, his voice broke and I instantly felt the tears rushing to my eyes. Then I said, NO to myself, You have waited all this time to let this guy know how much he has hurt your family. You are not going to start crying now.
Jim managed to talk in a Clint Eastwood sounding voice. Whatever works is good enough. He told Mayfield that when Robert was born, his life was changed. Robert had made him a better person. Now a big chunk of his life was gone forever. He told Mayfield he had done a stupid thing.
Kathleen spoke and said "When we lost Robert, it was as if the gravitational field on the earth changed. We can't find our balance anymore." Kathleen was great and got her feelings across. After the Blaylock's (Kathleen's mother and her sister Diane) talked it was my turn.
The judge called my name and it was surreal. I saw the floor and felt myself moving to the microphone. I said my name and spelled it like they asked us all to. I was maybe 6 ft. away from Mayfield. I looked directly into his eyes. I told myself you are only talking to him. No one else matters. I had tried my best to memorize my speech, but I had to look at the paper a few times.
I thought of William Hurt in Broadcast News telling Albert Brooks that he could not just read the news. He had to punch a word in each line to get his point across. So there I was, punching my one word, getting my point across.
As I spoke, it seemed like my voice was getting louder and angrier. It felt good. I felt in control and I stared into that man's eyes as hard as I could. He looked upset and beaten. If he had looked any other way, I would have punched him. About half way through my speech, I caught a glimpse of Jack standing next to me. He had come to support me and I didn't even know he was there I was so consumed. When I was done, I grabbed my paper and walked back to my seat. Jack was saying you were great. All I could say was I am so mad. I guess I was pumped up at that point. I could have lectured that man for hours.
When it was all over with, Jack wanted to get the hell out of there. I told him I wanted to say good-bye to Jim and Kathleen. Jim grabbed my hand and said I was great. That made me feel so good. I wanted to do it for Jim, Kathleen and Christine. I did it for my whole family.
One other thing, in the courtroom there was a young girl that I recognized. Robert had been in her wedding about three weeks before he died. There was Adrienne, holding a tiny baby. That just broke my heart. There she was, living her life, having a baby. Robert would never do that because he is forever stuck at the age of 20. His friends have moved on, grown up and even had babies. That really hurt.
Adrienne and Andy (blurry, sorry)
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