Oh Wilbur.... (I think that's from Mr. Ed)

Older Gentleman: I THINK I HAVE SWINE FLU

Me: Ok Sir, Who is your Doctor?

O.G.: I THINK I HAVE SWINE FLU!! I HAVE PACIFIC CARE!!

Me: Alright, Who is your Doctor sir?

O.G.: I HAVE PACIFIC CARE!!! I NEED TO BE SEEN FOR SWINE FLU!!!

Me: I still need to know who your Doctor is. Do you have a Doctor here sir?

O.G.: YES, I HAVE PACIFIC CARE!!!!

Me: SIR ...WHO IS YOUR DOCTOR? YOU HAVE TO TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT SWINE FLU!!!!!

O.G.: My Doctor is Dr. Blah Blah...

Me: Thank you

Say Please!

I'm sitting here looking at my chat list.
Emily's status says, "homework, don't bother me".
I can't pass that up so I "IM" her.

Peggy: then get off Ichat
Emily: lol
Emily: then dont bother me =P
Peggy: say please
Emily: pleaseeee
Peggy: ok
Emily: ttyl
Peggy: "open your mouth a little WIDER when you say PLEASE"
Emily: lol
Peggy: name that movie and I will leave you alone
Emily: Alice in Wonderland
Peggy: ok bye!
Emily: byee

Daisy

Last Saturday, my sister Judy had to put her beautiful, sweet kitty cat Daisy to sleep. It was a very hard decision, and I know it haunts Judy, but she did the right thing. Poor Daisy just couldn't go on like that.

Judy and her husband Jim are cat lovers to the max. No cat on earth could ask for a better life then to be part of their family. They will never be able to replace Daisy, but someday they might be able to make room for another very lucky kitty.

At last the sentencing is done.

Friday, April 3rd, 2009

8:37 pm - At last the sentencing is done.

San Jose Mercury Photo I arrived at Jack's house at 1:15pm today. Jack lives about four blocks from the courthouse in San Jose so we walked. The closer we got to the courthouse, the more smarmy the surroundings became. Bail bondsmen handing out their cards, coked out looking freaks everywhere. Criminals as far as the eye could see. Jim and Kathleen arrived just as we did. We went in together and took the elevator down to the courtroom. When we walked into the courtroom it was fairly crowded. Public defenders, lawyers and a bunch of very guilty looking people. Some of the guilty were sitting among us waiting for their names to be called. That was creepy. The more serious offenders were led into where the jury usually would sit. You could hear them before you saw them. Their shackled legs jingling with every foot step. Every one of them looked guilty as hell. One man's bail was set at one million dollars. He had been threatening witnesses in his case. Good Lord people, don't ever break the law because the people waiting on the other side of the law are frightening! We were told to be there at 2:00pm. We watched fifty some people get sentenced, but our case never seemed to be called. At around 4:00pm finally the judge said something concerning the Mayfield case. The whole time we were waiting, none of us saw Mayfield anywhere. His high priced lawyer was there, but no Mayfield. All I could think was they are probably going to ask for another continuance for some unknown reason. Then the judge left and came back about 15 minutes later. The Bailiff shouted, "All rise. court is now in session." Then Mayfield was brought into court. I guess they had him stored somewhere to protect him from us. The last court date, things got ugly when Mayfield's sister walked up to my niece Christine and said," It was just an accident you know." That did it, all kinds of people on our side started yelling at her, Christine was wailing and crying and the Bailiffs had to escort people from the building to their cars. We were asked who wanted to address Mr. Mayfield. I wrote my name on the paper and proceeded to listen to my heart pumping so hard I thought it was hitting my ribs. Jack said he would go up with me, I told him I would be ok. Jim was called first. Kathleen went with him. Jim started to talk, his voice broke and I instantly felt the tears rushing to my eyes. Then I said, NO to myself, You have waited all this time to let this guy know how much he has hurt your family. You are not going to start crying now. Jim managed to talk in a Clint Eastwood sounding voice. Whatever works is good enough. He told Mayfield that when Robert was born, his life was changed. Robert had made him a better person. Now a big chunk of his life was gone forever. He told Mayfield he had done a stupid thing. Kathleen spoke and said "When we lost Robert, it was as if the gravitational field on the earth changed. We can't find our balance anymore." Kathleen was great and got her feelings across. After the Blaylock's (Kathleen's mother and her sister Diane) talked it was my turn. The judge called my name and it was surreal. I saw the floor and felt myself moving to the microphone. I said my name and spelled it like they asked us all to. I was maybe 6 ft. away from Mayfield. I looked directly into his eyes. I told myself you are only talking to him. No one else matters. I had tried my best to memorize my speech, but I had to look at the paper a few times. I thought of William Hurt in Broadcast News telling Albert Brooks that he could not just read the news. He had to punch a word in each line to get his point across. So there I was, punching my one word, getting my point across. As I spoke, it seemed like my voice was getting louder and angrier. It felt good. I felt in control and I stared into that man's eyes as hard as I could. He looked upset and beaten. If he had looked any other way, I would have punched him. About half way through my speech, I caught a glimpse of Jack standing next to me. He had come to support me and I didn't even know he was there I was so consumed. When I was done, I grabbed my paper and walked back to my seat. Jack was saying you were great. All I could say was I am so mad. I guess I was pumped up at that point. I could have lectured that man for hours. When it was all over with, Jack wanted to get the hell out of there. I told him I wanted to say good-bye to Jim and Kathleen. Jim grabbed my hand and said I was great. That made me feel so good. I wanted to do it for Jim, Kathleen and Christine. I did it for my whole family. One other thing, in the courtroom there was a young girl that I recognized. Robert had been in her wedding about three weeks before he died. There was Adrienne, holding a tiny baby. That just broke my heart. There she was, living her life, having a baby. Robert would never do that because he is forever stuck at the age of 20. His friends have moved on, grown up and even had babies. That really hurt. Adrienne and Andy (blurry, sorry) (comment on this)

10:54 am - Summoning Courage

Today is the sentencing hearing for Mr. Mayfield. I am going and hoping that I will get a chance to say how I feel to him. Here is what I wrote: Mr. Mayfield, My name is Peggy Conway. I am Jim Conway’s sister and Robert Conway’s aunt. I am here today to finally say how I feel directly to you. Because of your actions on July 10th 2006, you forever changed my family’s lives and the lives of hundreds of our friends. Jim, Kathleen and Christine are not the happy people they used to be. You crushed that family with your thoughtless decision. None of us will ever hear another story about some funny thing Robert did or how well he is doing in college. We won’t get to see him mature or go to his wedding. Jim and Kathleen won’t hold his children. Robert is eternally 20 years old thanks to you. I don’t care if what I am saying is making you uncomfortable, or if you feel that it was just an accident. You made a choice to drive even though it was wrong. You stole Robert away from us and I will NEVER forgive you or forget what you did. Just writing that made my hands all shaky. I hope I can pull it off.

Emily goes to college

Sunday, September 21st, 2008

9:30 am - Emily goes to college

Yesterday Emily left for college. She didn't go to the other side of the country, she went to Santa Cruz. It's maybe 45 mins away, not far but far enough that she isn't here anymore. Just typing those last few words makes me cry. I honestly didn't think I would feel like this. When Elizabeth went to college, I was sad but I still had Emily. Emily has been subconsciously preparing me for this all summer long. She always had somewhere to go every single day. She also spent hundreds of nights at Erica's house. Probably an exaggeration, but it felt like that many. I think I can count on one hand the number of days she stayed home and didn't get in her car and drive off. I pretty much let her do whatever she wanted this summer, within reason. I remember being 17 was just about the best time of my life and I didn't have half of the opportunities or things that she has. Or maybe I just don't remember them all now 35 years later. I'm sure she will remember every little detail of her life. Everything is so well documented now. I took 20 pictures yesterday of Emily moving into her dorm room and I know Elizabeth probably took just as many. Here she is walking up to the check-in area of College Eight with Elizabeth and Stewart. I should have had Stewart hold her hand then I would have had a shot like the one of him taking Elizabeth to preschool ages ago. Waiting in line to get her room assignment. Thankfully we got there early when it was still overcast and cool. The girl in front of her is Cassie, one of her roommates. She has her I.D. card! Even though we got there early, Emily was the last of the three roommates to get to their room. Three girls in a room only barely big enough for two. She was hoping to get the single bed. Hurray! She got the single loft bed. Underneath is her desk and an armoire for her clothes. It is very close quarters in there though. I hope they can work out a way to move the desks around and make more room. A very daunting task to put all that stuff into drawers that are only half as deep as they appear to be and a tiny closet. Trying to make your bed while you are on it is not fun. I bet those sheets never get washed till she comes home on her first break. Finally success!! Phewwww, that was hard. Here are the new roommates: Nikole, Emily and Cassie. I hope it works out. They seem like nice girls. The view from the hall window. College Eight quad area where we waited in line for room assignments. Time to say good-bye. When she came to hug me, she looked like she could have cried. I know if she had I would have lost it for sure. It took all my strength to not openly bawl. I waited till I got home and looked at the pictures from the day before I cried. Oh my little Emily-Memily... You grew up... Way too fast... I wish... You were about this big still. I love you.

Am I the only one that cares?

Thursday, August 21st, 2008 1:53 pm - Am I the only one that cares? OMG! I swear that I am just about ready to BURST with anger! Where I live there has been construction on the outside of the houses. There was a company hired to replace rotten wood. They were there from May till just last week, so that is three months. For three months they were parked in front of my house with a truck, a dumpster, assorted wood, a port-a-potty (that stunk to high heaven)and a very unattractive chain length fence that was covered with a green tarp. Finally they left, a piece at a time. First the fence, then the truck, then the port-a-potty and at last the dumpster. When these geniuses left, they just pulled out of there and never looked back. They of course left behind, in our parking lot, dozens of nails, pieces of aluminum, strips of wood and general garbage. The parking situation where I live is bad on a good day and the construction had tied up half of the parking for three months. As soon as residents saw that they could park there again, they would blindly pull into the spaces and puncture their tires on all the nails that were left behind. I took my push broom and went out there and swept up all the nails and small garbage. The mailman came up to me and asked me why I was doing that? The men will clean up their stuff. I said,"Oh, really? Do you see any of the men here offering to do that? They aren't going to clean it up because they would have done it right away if they were going to." A few days later, the painters were scheduled to come but first they were going to power wash the buildings to get them ready for the new paint. The windows of my house are old and not water tight. I started to think...if those power washer guys happen to hit the windows with a blast of water, it could very well fill the window sill and go who knows where. I called the company in charge and told them about the window situation. Not everyone has new windows and I am afraid it could be a bad thing if the sprayed the windows. The lady on the phone was very surprised to hear this... Come on woman, think about it! She then informs me that no other homeowner ,from where I live, has called about this potential problem. I told her I have turned the garden hose on my own windows before and the water just runs in the window. She told me that maybe I should put plastic up on the outside of my windows. I said no, maybe your men should do that. I am not going to climb onto the 2nd story of my house. So they came and powered washed on August 14th. Nothing bad happened except that Emily was supposed to go help Elizabeth with their dad's house. We were sealed into the house with plastic over the doors, and couldn't get out. Elizabeth called on her cell and said,"how are you supposed to get out?" Emily was secretly pleased that she was trapped, she didn't really want to go clean the new house. As I was talking to Elizabeth, began to sound like her voice was coming to me in stereo. "Where are you?", I said. "Outside your front door", she said. Elizabeth managed to peel the tape back and let Emily out of the house. The power washing was fine, no floods occurred and on the following monday, they were going to start to paint. On monday the 18th, the painters came and taped off the windows and doors again and started to spray the house it's new peachy beige color. The next day they started on the trim. I figured they were going to paint the trim an ugly brick red color that I didn't like, but oh well. When I pulled up in front of my house, I was a bit worried. Seems they had only painted around the windows and not the trim that runs up and down the building. They had left that part painted beige. I was thinking, no way could they be leaving it like that! It look stupid! I asked one of the painters, and all he said was that he was painting it the way they told him. I called the company in charge. The painter was right, he was not to paint all of the trim, just the part around the windows and doors. Wow, I told her that it looked like crap. She said the HOA was trying to "modernize" the look of the buildings. I tried to explain to her that the painting around the windows was never going to look right. It is always going to give the appearance that it is crooked because the paint goes over a raised piece of wood. Talking to her was a waste of time, because she was only having the painters do what the orders said. So I then called the management company for the HOA. The man in charge of my complex is a raging jackass. I told him that I wanted to talk to someone about the painting and in one long bored breath he told me the name of the man over seeing the project and what his phone number was. Ugh, I hate that man. Then I called the the man in charge of the painters. I told him that I was very unhappy about the paint colors and the general job that the painters were doing. That visually it will never look right and all that. All he kept saying to me was that he was sorry I felt that way about it. He said I should wait till they are all done with the touch ups before I pass judgement. That it really was going to modernise it in an artistic way. Now wait a minute buddy, stop right there! I didn't say that exactly, but I did stop him and tell him that I come from a very artistic family and that I know something about perspective, colors and the fact that you can not "modernize" a building by slapping some paint on it. All that does is change the color. These buildings are at least 30 years old and to make them look remarkably different you would have to strip the outside stucture and change it physically. I mean please, I watch Jeff Lewis's Flipping Out!!! I didn't say that. The conversation with him went no where. I'm sure he thinks I am a raving lunatic, but what can I say. Then on Aug 23rd, I looked out my window to see two of the board members looking at my house from the parking lot. Ahhh Haaaa! Here is my chance to speak to the people that are responsible for this monstrosity. I walked outside and said to goofball #1,"are you pleased with the way this paint looks?" #1 said,"well, it looks a bit different then we thought it would." That was my cue to go off on them so to speak. "Really?, I think it looks like crap." They both looked at me a bit horrified. #1 asked me why I felt that way. So I told her and told her and told her some more. Goofball #2 stood there with her arms folded across her chest and looked at me like I was the devil or something. I walked them over to my house so I could point out the crazy paint job in detail. I showed them how the paint would never look straight around the windows. I then showed them how the post that supports the roof was painted two colors, beige and chocolate brown. #1 agreed with me that the post had to be painted wrong, there was no way that was right. Then I showed them how the painters only painted the face of the trim and didn't go around the edge of the trim to the wall. I said that is just bad painting and wrong. #2 said,"not necessarily." I said,"yes necessarily. Are the door frames in your house only painted on the face of the wood or do you paint all the way around? Those are the rules of painting. You do it right or not at all." I showed them that the painters even painted over spider webs. I will admit that I was not very nice and didn't give them a chance to say much, but this painting thing has made me angry and I was not going to let my chance slip by without pointing out to them all of the things that bothered me. I also told them how unhappy we all were having to put up with the construction junk for three months. Then when they finally left, they left the place in a huge mess. Nails and aluminum garbage everywhere. I told them I had to clean it up myself. Then I pointed out that they had not replaced the cement stops in the parking places. Blah blah blah, that's horrible, they will come back and fix that. Whatever, I asked why there were three colors being painted on the house. #2 spouts up and said she had picked them and that she had not held them next to each other, she just thought they would look good together. WOW...oh my goodness. NO ONE with half a brain would do that! Turns out the #2 is the "president" of the HOA. I told them that I was sure that they were thinking that I should have gone to the HOA meetings before these decisions were made. I don't remember getting any flyer about a pick the paint meeting. I have more to say about this, but will do it at another time. Too many other things are happening to dwell on this right now.

What I did today...

Saturday, July 26th, 2008

7:52 pm - What I did today...

I did nothing today, and then I thought I would do this. A Zebra Cake. It was a messy process and I don't know if it is going to turn out. The batter was so thick I had to add milk to it. They look ok...but we will see when it cools off and someone eats it.

Kelsey

Wednesday, July 16th, 2008

9:47 am - Kelsey

I had ten whole days off from work. From July 3rd to July 13th. I took it off mostly because of Robert. It was going to be two years since he died on the 10th, and I wanted to be off in case something like a memorial for him came up. I also just didn't feel like being at work during that time. The days leading up to the 10th were uncomfortable. Highly emotional and a feeling of dread that was very strong. When I came back to work on the 14th, I noticed my co-worker Kelsey was limping. Kelsey is the daughter of another co-worker named Susan. I have known Susan for 20 some years and she has two daughters, Dani and Kelsey. Dani is the same age as Elizabeth and Kelsey is maybe two years younger then they are. Susan stopped working at the clinic, but Dani and Kelsey are working here. Annette, my supervisor, was in the room and said to me, "Kelsey was in an accident last week and is quite frankly lucky to be alive!" So Kelsey started to tell me what happened. "Last Thursday, my dad and I were driving on Altamont Pass when someone a few cars in front of us slammed on their brakes. My dad slammed on our brakes and we swerved, the car rolled over and almost went off the "cliff"." Luckily, they both had on seat belts and were only bruised and beaten. I was of course horrified and started thinking about last Thursday, that was July 10th. Damned July 10th! My throat got immediately tight, I felt like I was going to cry. "Kelsey", I said, "July 10th is the day my nephew Robert died, two years ago." Then Dani showed me a picture of their car on her cell phone. It was an Explorer and it was demolished. Windshield smashed in and the roof looked like it was coming off. "Do you know how lucky you and your dad are?", I said. She of course knows how lucky they are. I told her she better be careful. Never go anywhere or do anything on July 10th, anyone!!!! Kelsey escaped with her life that day. July 10th sucks big time, I despise it more then I ever did before.

It's July again.

Thursday, July 10th, 2008

5:27 pm - It's July again.

It's July again. Hot weather and that horrible feeling. I hate July with all my heart. July means only heartbreak, sadness and tears. Lots of people love July because it all about summer vacations, barbecues, parties and fireworks. To me it is the month my family lost Jackie and Robert. Two of my nephews. Jackie was 18 and Robert was 20 when their lives ended tragically. Jackie died 19 years ago July 3rd. He has been gone longer then he was alive. Today is the 2nd anniversary of the day we lost Robert, but we didn't find out till July 11th. I was called at about 4:15 am and I swear to you, every time the phone rings now I still have a bit of dread. I still have to remind myself that they are gone. When I look at pictures of them, for a split second I forget and then bang, there it is again. How can it be true? It's crap, I don't like this but it will never go away. This is a bad month. I hate you July

That just irritates me, and other things...

Friday, August 25th, 2006

10:40 am - That just irritates me, and other things...

When I am at work, sometimes I get irritated with the people that call there. It all ranges from people that don't know what they want, people that say crazy things, and people that don't have any clue how to speak english, even though english is their native tongue. I am surrounded by people that say," where are you at?" and other things that make my skin crawl. Double negatives and poor grammar are everywhere and I am not saying that I am perfect, but come on! Recently, I have noticed a new word that has been created by the masses. I just want to scream every time I hear it. I don't even know how to spell it, because it isn't even a word. "You-guys-ses or Your-guys-ses" is how it sounds. I suppose it is being used instead of saying "yours", I just hate it. People that work in this clinic say it, people that work at Stanford say it. It is all around me and it is so tempting to correct them, but I am afraid I will get in trouble if I do. Speaking of getting in trouble, I just had a caller tell me that I am rude. Funny thing is, I wasn't being rude. I answered and the caller asked me if I was Lizette. "No, this is the operator, who are you trying to reach?", I said. "I'm just trying to reach the front desk", she said. I was writing something as I was talking, so I hadn't looked at the screen to see where the call had come from. As far as I was concerned it was a patient calling in. As I was clicking on the directory screen, the girl on the line said to someone on her end,"she is rude!" Then I noticed that the call was from inside the clinic. I said,"I was not being rude, I was asking you who you were trying to reach." "No", she says, "you are rude, what is your name?" I hate this exchange, It is always so tempting to say another name or to really show them what rude is. "My name is Peggy", I said. Then she tells me again that I am rude and that she can dial what she needs herself. "Fine", I said. Oops, I guess that was rude. I had am amusing call the other day. A father called in and said that his child had just eaten kitty litter. GAHHHH! He said the name of his child's Dr. and I rang the office. YUCK...kitty litter?!? Do you watch your child at all? What would possess a child or anyone for that matter, to put their hand in "there", pull out some "litter" and eat it? You know the odds of that litter box being brand new, and the litter clean as a whistle, are slim to none. Litter expands and clumps when it gets wet, UGH, the whole thing is just gross. I know you can't watch your child every second. When Emily was small, I don't think she could even talk, she stuck TIC TACS up her nose. I remember she was crying and I was trying to figure out what was wrong. I knelt on the floor to ask her what was the matter, and every time she exhaled, I could smell mint. Strange I thought. What did she do, eat the tube of toothpaste? Tears were streaming down her face and I couldn't see what the problem was. Suddenly she coughed and little white things shot out of her mouth. I asked her where did she put these things and she pointed to her nose. Elizabeth never stuck anything up her nose. She cut her hair one time though. She was about kindergarten age, and I was cleaning up her coloring books and things one day. As I was gathering the assorted stuff, I saw a paper towel or kleenex neatly laying on the floor. I lifted it up and there was a big bunch of pretty blond hair. I called Elizabeth's name and didn't know what to expect when she walked in the room. It was a lot of hair, I hoped that she hadn't chopped it from the top of her head or something. She walked up to me, and I could see where she had cut it. It was right where her bangs stopped and her hair was long. "What happened to your hair?", I asked her. "It was in the way, so I cut it off", she said. I still have that clump of hair in a ziploc bag. My sister Judy bought Elizabeth a beautiful doll when she was about 5. It was like a fancy rag doll with a cloth face and body. She had button eyes and yellow yarn for her hair. Her dress was white eyelet. One day I noticed the dolls legs kind of sticking out from under a mound of Elizabeth's toys. As I was putting the toys away, I could see that the doll's head was in a brown paper bag, like a lunch bag. I took the bag off the doll's head, and the doll had make up all over her face. Oh Crap, I thought, this doll was expensive I'm sure, and she had lipstick and who knows what all over her face. It wasn't just randomly on her face though. It looked like Elizabeth was trying to put make up on the doll. When I asked Elizabeth about the doll, her first response was, don't tell Judy. She put the make up on and thought she could take it off. We didn't tell Judy about that for a long time. We still have the doll. The 23rd was my Mom's birthday, the 22nd was Kevin's, the 17th was Jim B's, uncle Abe's was the 13th, cousin Rick's was the 3rd, Ben's was the 15th, cousin John's was Aug 4th, cousin Morganna's was the 16th, my Grandma King's was Aug. 17 and she would have been 111! In other words, birthday season has begun in our family. I am not in the mood at all this year. Robert's death has changed everything, and I just don't see any point in birthdays anymore. I am still upset, still crying about Robert. It's not a steady stream of tears, but it is a feeling that is always there. I think about all that happened and I have to remind myself that it is real and then the tears start. It is like a gnawing feeling, or a rush of reality that sweeps over me. It is strange and I hate it. I look at his pictures on my computer and I can't believe it. Ever since all this happened, I have had a lump on the lower left side of my head. When my Dad died in 1980, I had the same thing and I was told by a Dr. that it was from stress. Lymph nodes that had gone crazy due to grief. This current lump has been getting bigger and my scalp has been all broken out too. I decided to go to the Dr. the other day, to see what was going on with my head. I started to wonder if maybe I had some kind of infection or maybe something worse. I don't remember my head hurting like this when my Dad died. The Dr. felt my head and when she got to the spot where the big lump was she said, "Wow, that IS a big lump!" Yeah , I know!!! She knew about Robert already because she is my Mom's Dr. too and we called about Mom's blood pressure the day we found out about Robert. I started to tell the Dr. that I thought this was all do to grief over Robert, and I started to cry. "See", I told her, "look at me, I can cry at the drop of a hat!" She gave me some amoxicillin because she thought that maybe there was an infection going on. She told me that grief is hard on a persons body and the way that Robert died was so horrible that it is hard for us to cope. It is such a shock. So I have been trying to not cry so much to see if my head bump will recede and not explode. I can't not cry, I just can't. I look at Robert's Legacy book online everyday. On the 23rd Kathleen wrote in it and what she wrote made me sob. I just don't know how Jim and Kathleen can go on day to day. I am heartbroken, crying, filled with grief and I am Robert's aunt, not his mother, his sister or his father. I can not imagine how horrible it is for them. Emily has gone back to school, Elizabeth went to Canada, people are having birthdays. Life keeps going on. Judy and Jim had a BBQ at their house on the 19th. My first thought was of Robert. Robert won't be there, even if he had nothing else to do, he won't be there. I gave Jim the stuff I got from the Giants for him, it made him cry when he saw the Giants hat. Robert had one like it. The BBQ was nice, it was good to see everyone and the food was great. I just miss Robert.

I have no patience for patients

Saturday, August 5th, 2006

10:10 am - I have no patience for patients

While at work last night, I got a call telling me that my uncle had died. As I said in the previous post, it was all too much. Every call I took at work last night just grated on me. As soon as the offices close people come out of the woodwork. They have waited all day for a call back from a Doctor or nurse, and then decide that calling at 5:35p.m. is a good time to deal with it. No. it's not. The offices are closed by then and I don't know about you, but when it is time for me to leave work, I go. I don't hang around and see what else is going to happen. Lots of people know that after the offices close, it is much easier to actually speak to a Doctor. They only person in between the caller and the Dr. is most likely someone like me. The telephone operator. No receptionist, no nurse, we beep the Dr.s and they call back. Pretty direct, not much waiting time. Last night I had the typical people that didn't get their lab results or their medicine was not at the drugstore as promised. At around 7 p.m., I got a call from a woman who sounded very calm. She said to me, " I am a little concerned about my 93 year old aunt. We are eating dinner and I think she is choking on a piece of pork. She is making these "gurgely" sounds, What should I do?" I can just feel the anger brewing in me. What should you do? What an absolute idiot! I said, " Have you thought about calling 911?!?!?!" I am sure I sounded snotty, sarcastic and shocked at her stupidity, but I didn't care. She says to me that she thought that maybe someone at the clinic could tell her what to do. I told her, "Yeah, I am telling you that you should not be wasting your Aunt's time talking to me, you should be talking to 911!" "The offices are closed and there is no one here that is going to give you that kind of advice, time is crucial in this situation and you should be on the phone with 911, not me!" Then she says," Oh, wait a minute, I think she is better. Is she better?, she asks someone on her end of the line. "I think you should still call 911" I say. "Well. I think we will wait and see how she is" was her reply. CRIMINIY!!! My mouth is wide open and I am thinking how in the world do people like that exist everyday? The worst thing is that poor 93 year old woman's life is depending on someone so stupid that they can't even do the right thing in an emergency. You don't live 93 years and have it all end because a dumb relative can't make the right decision! After that I called my manager and asked if I could go home early, he said yes. Thank you, because I know I would have gotten another dumb call on the line and I might have been nastier then I was to that woman. If she complains about me, fine. I probably deserve it, I was snippy with her. Everything bothers me these days. I feel like I have pins sticking me all the time, I'm on edge, I'm irritated. I want Robert back. I want to go back to July 9th and convince him to do something else on the 10th. I wish I could change everything for him so my brother and his family could be happy again. So Robert could live his life like he was supposed to. To become a great artist like his father, a wonderful caring person like his mother, so that he could make his sister laugh again. This is never going to end, everyday hurts more because it is another day without Robert. Another day to worry about who he left behind. Then you add my uncle to it all and it seems even more unreal. My daughter told me she sees Robert in her dreams. That he is just standing there in a crowd of people, but she can't catch his eye. He won't respond to her. That made me cry. She broke down yesterday and cried about Robert. Then this morning she said she saw him again her dreams last night and that he smiled at her. I asked her if she was just saying that to make me feel better and she said no, thats what she dreamed. Maybe crying and talking about him made her dream change. He is still gone though, I hate it.

It's all too much

Friday, August 4th, 2006

6:01 pm - It's all too much

I swear, it's all becoming a bit too much. I am working a night shift tonight, 4pm to 11pm. My cell phone rings at about 4:40pm. The caller ID is a long distance number, but my eyes are crap now, and I can't read it. I answer the phone and it is Abe, my Uncle in Ohio. My mind races, what could he be calling me for? If something is wrong with my Aunt Nancy, I don't know what I will do. He sounds hesitant, it isn't good news. My Mom's brother Donny died. Donny, Don really, but we always called him Donny. He was a younger brother to my Mom, so he was Donny. Uncle Donny was a wild one. Funny, nice, handsome, we all liked him. He drank a lot, smoked too much and it all caught up with him. Uncle Donny's oldest daughter Diane, died a few years ago at a very young age. Don's 1st wife Donna died in July, one day before Robert did. We knew Donny was sick. This was expected, but geez, it's all too much. Poor Donny, Poor Donna, Poor Robert. No More PLEASE

August...already

Thursday, August 3rd, 2006

1:08 pm - August...already

It's August already. Time just ticks by and we are all still here, hurting. My brother Jim went on a vacation with his wife's family. They do this every year and had arranged it before Robert had died. Robert was supposed to go on this trip with them. Jim checked in with us everyday. It was a hard trip for them, so many memories of trips in the past with Robert there. Yesterday, Jim lost his prescription sunglasses in the ocean. They were on a cord around his neck, but they were still swept off of him, out to sea. Upsetting to say the least. Just one more thing when you are already on edge. Jim was on-line a bit ago and told my sister and I that they were leaving the vacation. It was just too hard to be there. Christine was not doing well and then he said that he had also lost his necklace. His students had given him a necklace that had, My Son Robert, engraved on it. Jim is upset, he feels like he is losing everything. He took it off and left it in the car and then couldn't find it. I hope it is still in the car, and that when he gets home, we will find it for him. Everything that happens feels like another punch in the stomach. You can hardly catch your breath and things like losing your glasses or a necklace are not as bad as losing your child, but it all feels like something is trying to attack you. Like the universe has it in for you for some unknown reason. My daughter has moved totally to my Mother's house. It's for school, so she can be in the right district. Now I have no children at home. It is another added shock that I wasn't ready for. My Mom has mice in her wall. She thinks that's where they are anyway. She saw one a few weeks ago and Jeff heard scratchy noises in his wall. Gahhhhhhhhhhhh! Jeff is cleaning out the loft area above his room. Lots of unknown things are up there, stored in boxes. My Mom told me she had found Elizabeth's baby bath tub, a sweater I wore in the 70's that had Groucho Marx on the front of it. I used to love that sweater! They also have found a Beatles scrapbook that I made years ago. I would be thrilled if they found my yearbooks. I can't figure out where those are.

Emotional

Saturday, July 29th, 2006

8:07 am - Emotional

Yesterday was a hard day. I was feeling very emotional. From extremely angry to flowing tears. I have decided that I don't appreciate it when people say," What would your nephew want? " " Would he want you to be sad and cry or go on with your life? " I don't know about you, but when I die, I want people to be upset. I want some tears, I want people to feel bad because I am gone. Please don't tell me that my nephew is happy about this situation. How would you even possibly begin to know that? "Don't worry, he is in a better place" B** S***! I don't know about this so called better place. If it exists or not, no one really knows and do not try and tell me that you do know, because unless you have been there and come back, you do not know. I do know that all the people here on earth that loved my nephew, would really rather have him here. In my heart, I want there to be a better place. Something comforting to think about to make death less scary. My nephew didn't get a chance to think. He died without warning, no illness, no long hospital stay in an ICU, no touch and go. He was killed and the man that did this to him and his girlfriend, was released from the hospital the next damn day. NOT FAIR! My brother and his wife never saw their son after it happened. The coroner wouldn't let them. That makes me sick inside. Makes me want to scream, WHY? Everything I see and hear ties into what happened. All the accident reports on the news, hearing people joke and kid and say things like," I could just die " or " if you do that again, I will kill you ", just makes me gasp in horror. I am guilty of using these phrases, and I consciously do my best not to say them. The other day I heard about a crash on Hwy 17. A notorious stretch of freeway that has claimed many lives. There was a fatality, my daughter drives this freeway quite often. She went to college at UC Santa Cruz and still goes back there to visit roommates. I called her on her cell phone, and she answered. The thought of something else happening had my heart pounding and my mind reeling. Later I heard that the person that died in that accident, was a 20 year old male, from San Jose I believe. I started to cry. His poor family, I know what is going on in their lives right now. The pain, sorrow and disbelief. My brother talked to me last night on a computer video chat. He told me that he had cleaned out his son's car and found notebooks from school. All the doodles and writings. He found a little rubber chicken, just like my nephew, silly, funny kid. My brother had been crying, he is sad, very angry and wants his son back. I agree with him. My emotions are all over the place where this is concerned. After the video chat, I went to check on my neighbors cat. Mr. Fuzzypants (not his real name) is not doing well. In fact his owner is pretty sure he is dying. MFP has always been a great big grey tabby cat, with a heart of pure gold and a huge appetite. Now his owner says he barely eats a whole can of cat food a day. He would eat forever before. Eating at his own house and then coming over to visit me to see if he could get something yummy for dessert. I was dreading going over there. What if he had died, I didn't want to find him and I was also afraid of seeing him alive. What if he looks pathetic and so thin he can hardly walk. I put the key in the door and I could hear him meowing on the other side. That was a good sign. I turned on the kitchen light, and there he was, a shadow of his former self. So thin I could see his backbone and his sides are all caved in. I was shocked, but that sweet cat was so happy to see me. He was winding all around my legs and looking up at me. He was doing his hungry dance, so I got his dishes and cleaned them out. New water and a new can of gravy soaked cat food. He loves that and he gets whatever he wants now. I watched him eat and I just started crying my eyes out. Life isn't fair! The cat's condition pushed a button for me. I was sobbing over MFP, the kid that died on 17, and my nephew. All of it is just so awful. Life is not fair and I wonder sometimes if I will ever even consider being happy again.

Disheartened

Friday, July 28th, 2006

8:33 am - Disheartened

Driving is not my favorite thing to do. I have real problems driving at night and in places I don't know. Ever since my nephew was killed in that horrible accident, I have been even more sensitive to the carelessness of people when they drive. I have driven to my brother Jim's house more this month then I probably have during a whole year. Going to Jim's house means driving on 101, about 20 miles south to Capitol Expressway. Lots of traffic, lots of crazy drivers, not a good situation for me. Elizabeth drove the other night, nothing happened to us, I am just disgusted with people in general. We visited with all the people at my brother's house for a little while. Kathleen had promised Elizabeth one of my nephew's t-shirts, so we were there to get that also. It was about 8p.m., so I decided we had better go before it got too late. On the way home, Elizabeth pointed out a Lincoln Continental that was driving a bit recklessly, and the obvious reason why. The jerk driving that car had both visors and the rear view mirror fitted with DVD screens. That has to be illegal. As we caught up with him, a few lanes apart, I noticed he also, had a sidekick in both hands, texting someone. What a total idiot. He had his arms "steering" the car and he was busy typing something soooooo necessary to some other jerk somewhere. I was tempted to scream something at him, but he looked like the kind of guy that most likely had a shotgun on the seat next to him. I stared at him with my jaw wide open, what a jerk, what could possibly be that important. Emily wanted us to just get the heck away from him. I thought about calling the CHP, but he pulled off the freeway. People like that are useless and just a waste of space. He will likely kill someone with his carelessness, and I am sorry that I didn't get the chance to report him. A lot of people just don't seem to think that what they are doing could very well hurt or kill someone else. I know that I am trying to not be one of those people. I am sick of everything right now. Nothing seems important, and everything makes me mad now that my nephew is gone. That jerk on the freeway could very well destroy someones life and the lives of that person's family. Just like our family has been hurt. In a second, in a flash, everything changes. Stupid people suck.

Robert

Sunday, July 23rd, 2006

5:12 pm - Robert

Everyday I think I will post about what happened on July 10th in this journal. I wake up each day and think, maybe it was a mistake, it didn't really happen. It did happen though and there is nothing anyone can do to change it. My 20 year old nephew was killed in a car accident at about 8:30 that evening, July 10th, 2006. He was just sitting at a stop light, and was hit by a car, a truck really. In a flash, he was gone. Snatched off the face of the earth with no warning, no chance to ever see him again. My brother and his family are, I don't even think there are words to describe how they are. Heartbroken, crushed, sad, hurt, none of those words even express a tiny bit of what they feel, or how much pain they are in. My nephew was a beautiful baby, adorable child, wise cracking teenager, and was just going to move into a new stage of his life, an adult. He was clever, smart, funny as hell, and everyone loved him. I know people say things like that all the time, "everyone loved him", but in this case, it is true. So many people care for him and have expressed it to my family. My niece, his sister, is 15 yrs old. She is beyond heartsick because her brother was truly her bestfriend. They never fought. She would wait up at night for him to come home from work so they could watch their favorite shows on TiVo. My nephew had recently just moved out of the family home, so he could live with his friends while going to college. That alone had sent his sister into a funk. She missed him and wished he would come home. My nephew and his friends had rented a house near San Jose State. He had a job, was going to start college, had a place to live, and had his girlfriend, he was happy. His girlfriend died along with him in that horrible accident. Two families are never going to be the same. Two wonderful young people never got the chance to really live. Life is unfair and cruel when it comes to things like this. I wish there was something to do to change it all, make it go away, but there isn't.

ok, where is the camera?

Wednesday, July 5th, 2006

9:10 pm - ok, where is the camera?

I was making yet another trip to pick up Emily. She was playing frisbee with her friends at Rengstorff Park in Mountain View. I was stopped at a light near our house, and I could hear loud rap music coming from the car in the next lane. I looked up expecting to see some young kid in the car, but OH NO! What I saw was a woman, possibly older then I am, not thin by any means, very very white, absolutely and totally into the music that SHE was playing. She was dancing in her seat, singing along to all the words, and doing all the rapper hand movements, in a CONVERTIBLE mind you! I am almost sure my jaw had dropped wide open. I started to glance around, looking for the hidden cameras somewhere. She had to be kidding, no way would anyone that looked like her, be listening and dancing along to music like that in a convertible, where everyone could see her. I know I was staring way too long. I was afraid she would turn and look right at me and fire a stream of unintelligible profanities my way at any second. It was just too good to be true, and now I know that when I go to get a replacement cell phone in August, because I washed mine in the washing machine, I am getting one with a camera for times like these. I continued to stare, and the light turned green. I moved to the next set of lights and she pulled up along side me, still singing and dancing. I had to stay at my left hand turn light, she had a green, so she moved on, still rapping. A young guy, maybe 30ish, was in a car behind the rapping woman. He slowed down next to me, rolled down his window and said," What the hell is that about?" I shook my head and said, " I have no idea!" We both started laughing, and he pulled away. My light turned green and I headed towards Rengstorff Park. I know it is not fair or right to judge someone like that, but come on, that was just wrong!

A long weekend

Wednesday, June 21st, 2006

10:09 am - A long weekend

On June 17th, my oldest daughter Elizabeth graduated from UC Santa Cruz. She received a BA in Politics, her minor is in Legal Studies. It goes without saying that I am very proud of her. Everyone that knows her is proud! That saturday started out early. I got up at 5:30am, Emily and I were to go to my Mom's house so we could drive with Jeff to Jim and Judy's in San Jose. Parking would be at a premium at the college, so carpooling was the way to go. Once we got to Judy's house, we all got into Jim's brand new Prius. It is a beautiful light green color, and has every available gadget. The drive over highway 17 was nice and smooth in the pretty new car. The GPS was talking us through every move of the drive. Judy thinks the GPS lady is annoying, but I think it would be nice to have someone tell you where to go without the rustling of maps and the yelling that goes with it. We drove up to Elizabeth's house. Very cute with a red french door. We got Liz and two of her roommates (Lindsay and Sarah) to pose for pictures. We decided that we would go to a little bakery/sandwich shop down the road called Emily's, and get something to eat. Elizabeth had to head over to the college and get ready. Emily's (the sandwich place) was ultra Santa Cruz. A very organic/vegan/recycle type place. We ordered our sandwiches, and found a table outside on the deck. We ate next to a babbling brook surrounded by hippies, young and old. After that, we headed over to the college. Parking was supposed to be tricky, but we found a place easily. Now, the college is pretty darn near the ocean, and you would have thought that it might be nice and cool, sea breezes and all that. NO, it was freaking hot that day. We all had slathered on the super high number SPF sun screen, but you could just feel it melting off with all the sweat. Judy wisely brought two big straw hats, and I had a mini umbrella in my purse. It looked like we were going on a hike or something. Jim B. had a small cooler stuffed with cold water bottles. There were signs in town warning people that were going to graduations to bring sunscreen, hats, and plenty of water. They weren't kidding. The College is not located on flat ground. Lots of ups and downs before we finally got to the west lower field, where Liz was to graduate. We were told by Elizabeth that no one was allowed to save seats, so we had to get there early and then not stray, or we would lose our places. We get down to the grassy field and find a row of seats that are vacant. We go to sit down and a "young lady" comes up to us to tell us that all these seats are saved. WHAT? You can't do that my sister Judy says. Everyone is, the snotty girl replies. The "snot" starts placing graduation programs on all the seats. She had at least 25 seats all locked up with programs. Judy started to scold her for breaking the rules, but really, unless you are willing to have a knock down drag out fight, what good does it do. It was just too hot to fight! We muttered a few more things the snotty girls way, and then took some seats nearby. A few rows up, Stewart was sitting with Liz's roommates, Lindsay and Sarah. Emily turned traitor and sat with them. They had closer seats then we did. We got to our seats at about 12:15pm. The graduation didn't start till 1:30pm. It was so damn hot, it wasn't funny! There were a few trees, but the shade they provided was already staked out. I put up my umbrella and proceeded to wait and wait and wait! If you don't know this about me, I despise hot weather. I would rather be cold anytime then to be hot and sweaty with my clothes stuck to me. We are surely in hell, I was thinking. About 15 mins before the ceremony started, a young man with a name tag on came up to me and said, I know the shade from the umbrella is nice, but when the ceremony starts, you will have to put it away. I felt like saying DUH! I know I can be crabby, but come on! On the road above us, we see the graduates approaching the field. YEAH!!! Let's get this show on the road PLEASE, before we all melt! They graduates start filing in. I spot Elizabeth and her friend/roommate, Case. There is something about moments like this that just take your breath away. All the years that I have been going to school plays, concerts, and graduations are done for her. This is it technically. She has reached the end, and it makes me just want to cry. I am happy for her. She worked extremely hard all through every bit of school and always got A's and B's. There she is, that little blond haired baby, all grown up and leaving school. SNIFF! The graduates take their seats, and the Provost starts talking. It was bad enough that it was probably about 90 degrees in the full sun, let alone the fact that this woman was extremely laid back and boring. She introduces the student speakers, five of them I think! Judy and I are trying to guess how long each one will talk. No more then 3 mins each will be acceptable, as far as we are concerned. It is too hot! One of the students had a beard down to the middle of his stomach, much like the guys in Z Z Top! He called himself, Jack Passion. He admitted that it wasn't his real name, but he was a philosophy major, and he was passionate about life, or something. It was too hot for me to remember. He was interesting though. He had been growing his beard for 3 years and had even been in a beard growing contest in Germany, where he had finished in 3rd place. Ok...whatever, next please. Awards and stuff, blah blah...ok, can they please graduate? Then the keynote speaker is introduced, big sigh (from me I'm afraid). A professor, I don't remember his name. He started out by saying he would keep it short, because he knew we were about to get sunstroke. Yeah!!! Then of course come the announcement about how you should please hold your applause till the end so everyone can hear their child's name read. Yeah right! That never happens. Also we were told to stay seated, so your graduate can find you instead of you looking for them. Who are they kidding? While this is all going on, Jim B., Judy's husband, has found a perfect spot to take pictures of Elizabeth and Case getting their diplomas. Judy and Jeff get some shots from where we are. Elizabeth makes her way to the stage and hands the person her piece of paper that has her name and her major on it. "Elizabeth Mary Ann Tagg, Politics". Screams and clapping from us, who cares about waiting, no one did. Case came after Elizabeth, Environmental Studies. That was it, they went back to their seats on the bleachers, and roasted in their black cap and gowns till the ceremony was over. Good thing Elizabeth chose not to wear her pretty new dress to the ceremony. She saved it for the party. When it was all done, the Dean came out and pronounced that the graduation was official and they could move their tassels to the other side of their caps. At that point, the masses all decided to find their graduate. No one listened to the previous announcement about sitting still, just as I thought. Judy and Jim said they would walk up the hill to the exit, while Jeff and I tried to see Elizabeth. I wove my way through all the people till I got to Elizabeth. She was with Stewart and Emily. I got to hug her and tell her how proud I was. Then I told her, we were leaving, see you at Grandma's house. I got Emily, and we started the long process of getting the heck out of there. Winding our way through hundreds of equally sweaty people was not fun. We got to the car and got going back to Judy's house so we could get in Jeff's car and go back to my Mom's house. At my Mom's house, Linda and my Mom were getting things ready for Elizabeth's party. The party was scheduled to start around 6pm. Jack and Linda had prepared the food, mostly Linda. The menu was: 1. Veggies and Dips. 2. Chips, guacamole and salsa. 3. BBQ chicken & pork tenderloin. 4. Beaner dinner (like chili, but better). 5. Martha Stewart Mac & Cheese (YUM). 6. Potato salad. 7. Cole Slaw. 8. Layered Jello (Pretty). 9. Garlic bread (always good). The food was fantastic. Linda is so good at that! My Mom and Jeff had the backyard all set up with tables and chairs. It was perfect and exactly what Elizabeth wanted. From my family, Jim, Kathleen, Christine, Robert couldn't come because he was in his friends wedding. Judy, Jim B, Jeff, Emily, Linda and my Mom were there. Jack was playing in his band and couldn't come. My sister Nancy was of course in Florida, where she lives. Elizabeth's friends, Colin, Nick, George, David R., Zeke, Adina and Steph were there. Friends of mine, Brenda, Merri-Lyn, Ron and John were there. Neighbor Shirley and her family Wendy, Chase and Jessica. Emily had her friend Brittany there. Oh, and Stewart...yes Stewart who comes to my family events, but won't acknowledge me. Yeah, we are divorced, but come on! He won't look or talk directly to me. I don't know, he is forever strange. The party went great. Everyone loved the food and had 2nds and 3rds. There was no booze at this party. Lots of water and sodas were consumed. Linda made a very pretty punch that had frozen fruit floating in it. Next to the punch bowl was a bottle of southern comfort that could be added to your individual drink if you chose to. Not many people chose to because the bottle didn't seem to change in amount of liquid. The party ended around 9:30pm. I went home and immediately took a shower. What a relief! Brittany came home with Emily and I, because on Sunday morning I was going to drive them to Berkeley. Emily had been invited to go to Clear Lake with Brittany's family. Brittany's family had already gone up there two days earlier, so I had to deliver Emily and Britt to Britt's Aunt's house to hitch a ride to the lake. ******************************************************************************* I NEED A GPS! This is where the weekend turned UGLY! We left the house at 7am. The girls had to be at the Aunt's house by 9am. We stopped to get gas at Costco, and then we headed over to 237 east. Then to 880 east, so far so good. Em and Britt are in the back seat with instructions to the Aunt's house they got from Yahoo maps. It should only take maybe an hour to get there. Things seem fine. As we approach Oakland (YUCK) I start to feel a bit nervous. Lots of ramps shooting in different directions, but the voices in the back seat say to take 90 something towards Walnut Creek then get on 580. OK....Driving and driving, I start to notice the names of towns we already passed on the way up. Are you sure we are going the right way, I ask. They say yes. The more I drive, the more I am sure we are headed the wrong way. Brittany calls her Aunt. The Aunt misunderstands Britt and thinks we are coming from the other direction. Finally I decide this is crap, we are headed for Livermore! Absolutely the wrong direction. We get off at Eden Canyon Road and get back on 580 in the right direction. I am getting a bit angry, but we still have time. I only drove about 30 miles out of my way!!!!! As we are driving, we go around a bit of a bend and in the road ahead is a seat from a car. Just sitting there in my lane! So I have to get around that without crashing into other people. Then as we go along, I notice black stuff flying up into the front of my car from the road. What the hell? Someone two lanes over to my left had a flat tire, and it was shredding. They manage to pull over in front of everyone safely, and with my grip getting tighter and tighter on the wheel, we carry on. Next obstacle, a bird flew so close to my windshield, I could see it's face! That's it, I want to go home! Over the past year, I have developed a sort of anxiety about driving. I am trying to overcome it, but today is certainly not helping! Now the girls in the back seat are telling me I need to get on 80, 80!, that is the Bay Bridge if you go west and the USA if you go east! I hate the east side of the Bay Area. I never drive there if I can help it and I was in the thick of the east bay! Freaking Oakland, Emeryville and Berkeley. Of course, I got off at the wrong exit in Oakland and wound up at the port of Oakland with all those huge shipping cranes and scary stuff everywhere. At this point, I have become more then angry and I am threatening to just go home (if I can find my way). Emily is heavily into the Mommmmmmmmmmmmm calm downs by then, and that is just making me more angry. People on Brittany's cell phone are not helping me, they don't understand exactly where we are, and I really don't care anymore. I get my cell phone and tell Emily to call Tim. He is from that area of the world and should be able to guide us out. I had no clue where we were, but I saw a sign for Alameda and I know that is not the right direction. We get Tim on the line and he starts telling me where to drive. I tell him the girls keep telling me to go on 80 , but if I end up on the Bay Bridge, I will probably serously injure one, if not both of them. The Bay Bridge is being re-built and is a total nightmare from what I understand from the news reports. I do not want to get on it. I hate driving over bridges. When I was young, I don't recall this feeling of dread, but I do now, and if I ended up in S.F., that would be only double worse. I don't drive there. Tim is on the phone with Emily. They both think this is so funny because I am super upset. A ray of hope suddenly appears! A very ugly pink gingerbread style house that I recognize. We are near to where we take the cars to get fixed, thank the lord, I kind of know where I am! Tim directs us to San Pablo Road, kind of like El Camino Real, on the good side of the bay, where I live! Just stay on San Pablo till you come to Solano Rd. Turn left there and then you will be there. Great, wonderful! It was a long way down SPR, and driving through Oakland can be an interesting experience. Emily pipes up on the phone with Tim and says, "oh, I know where we are, this is hookerville!" Once, long ago, Tim drove us through this very same area just to show us how awful it was. Emily pointed out a hooker leaning on a stop light. Very cliche I know, but she definitely was a working girl. Brittany did not believe Emily. "HA", Emily spouts, see that guy down the street, that's her pimp! LOVELY, lets get out of this area please! As soon as we hit Emeryville, the scenery began to improve. Finally, we reached the Aunt's house. We were only 5 mins late, pretty good considering the hell we had been through. We transfer the bags from my car to the Aunt's, I say goodbye to Emily and then I get Tim on the phone to guide me the hell out of there and back to the good side of the world. I drove 150 miles round trip that day. It should have been about 100. I was gone for 3 1/2 hours. You would think driving that many miles I would have ended up somewhere special, like Tahoe!